LAW SCHOOL: PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT LESSONS
COMMITTED TO GROWTH
Eight months ago, I could never have imagined being a student leader serving under the Student Chapter of a South African Women Lawyers Association as a convener and later, under the GBV committee for the University of Witwatersrand’s branch. When I first started my journey with SAWLA SC, I did not ask much about my role and responsibilities. In my heart, I knew that “We are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For”, as Alice Walker puts it. I mistakenly thought that I would be working on the launch project for three months and that; thereafter I would be free to continue with my duties as strictly a female law student. So much has happened, and I am wonderfully surprised by who I am becoming.
As I sat down to do a realistic self-assessment on my journey with SAWLA-SC I remembered that growth is uncomfortable and that if a woman is committed to growth, she is committed to possibilities. I would like to share with you the four growth laws and the benefits of being committed to continuous growth. After mastering these strategies, you will gain control of your destiny and feel supercharged to lead in the legal fraternity.
FOUR IMPORTANT LAWS OF GROWTH
Embrace failures
Fear of failure is number one killer of growth. Theodore Roosevelt was spot on when he said, “It is hard to fail but it is worse never to have tried to succeed”. Note that you can’t grow if you don’t allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. As soon as you truly commit to growth accept that you will be afraid, acknowledge that you will make mistakes, admit that you will stumble and fail at some point but that it will not be the end of your story. After you have failed at something, try to become better and better each day.
To work on your character is part of growth, it is the best thing you can do for your personal and professional growth. When you start working on things that destroy your growth, you will gain traction towards your goal. Don’t give up on yourself if you do not see improvements immediately. As time goes by, you will have made progress on yourself and that is the greatest achievement. Fear of failure makes it impossible to achieve a dream. In essence, by embracing failure, you are promoting strategic risk taking, which can lead to high reward.
Select friends that lift you up
Your friends in life are important so select them carefully. I believe that having people who encourage you up is crucial for growth. However, it is not everyone that should be invited into your personal space. Growth requires you to be selective of the friends with whom you spend time. You are who you frequently interact with.
Friends have a massive impact on us. If, for instance, you spend time with people who are negative, you will become stagnant as a result. However, if you spend enough time with people who value growth, integrity, optimism and generosity, that’s what you will become. You will only grow to become the best version of yourself if you select optimistic friends. Continuing with this mindset will attract positive possibilities and this is the key to reaching your dreams.
Have a mentor in your life
It is not a secret anymore that you grow quickly if you have a mentor that does what you aspire to do in life. That’s the system, and it’s backed by research. A 2019 study from Olivet Nazarene University reported that 76 percent of people understand that mentors are crucial, but 37 percent have one.
One of the greatest values of having a mentor is the grace to see ahead what others cannot see. This helps you to better navigate to your destination. It is worth noting that ALL Nobel Prize winners had a role mode.
Most of us encounter setbacks along the way and feel frustrated or even depressed but those with mentors tend to bounce back quickly because their mentors are there to remind them of who they are. Not having a mentor in this day and age is a sign that you are not following your bliss. It shows that there is a misalignment in the journey of your growth and, you will probably be out of touch with you are meant to become in life.
Mentees should never forget who helped them reach their success. Reach out and keep in touch. For example, you can maintain your relationship with your mentor by committing to regular meetings as best as you can, you can also ask your mentor what she prefers as the best way to keep in touch. Finally, be cognizant of your mentor’s life events and work schedule. You may find it necessary to adjust the frequency in which you communicate or meet in person.
Show up and speak up
Nothing good will come if you quit showing up. Keeping showing up even if you don’t know where to start. Showing up means not feeling sorry for yourself. You will never experience growth if you don’t show up because of your circumstances. Winners do not quit, they show up. I want to tell you a story of how I decided that I was no longer going to let the fear of public speaking define me.
At age 16, I had to give a speech to my class; it went badly because suddenly I forgot all that I had rehearsed. I still remember how I was shaking in front of my classmates. My shaky voice made me even MORE nervous! I started sweating, panicking and could not produce a drop of saliva. Surprisingly I was always very confident about public speaking as a child and performed well in situations like stage drama and teaching, but after that speech, I felt embarrassed and dreaded speaking up in front of others. For a very long time, I avoided activities like debating that interested me. As a result, I avoided any effort to improve.
Professionally, I had early hospitality career success. For about a decade, I worked locally, nationally and internationally until I decided to go to law school full-time. I am currently enrolled for LLB Law programme and have ambitions to register for a moot course. I suffered from ‘imposter syndrome’ doubting my own abilities as a leader and I was worrying about being exposed as a fake. My professional duties as a team leader meant that I could no longer avoid public speaking. Not only did I feel very anxious beforehand, but I also beat myself up after every speech.
To overcome imposter syndrome, I joined Toastmasters International club. Since then, I have volunteered at public speaking events, delivered keynote speeches at graduation ceremonies, international conferences, led meetings and teams, pitched to investors and. Today I accept invitations to do radio and television interviews. I keep on attending Toastmaster classes and ensure that I ask others for feedback. Persistence and patience have helped me make a lot of progress. My breakthrough was showing up. Knowing that many public figures, like Warren Buffet, have had a fear of public speaking at some point in their lives motivated me to never let up. Like so many others, I only regret that I did not show up sooner.
One of the greatest values of having a mentor is the grace to see ahead what others cannot see. This helps you to better navigate to your destination. It is worth noting that ALL Nobel Prize winners had a role mode.
Most of us encounter setbacks along the way and feel frustrated or even depressed but those with mentors tend to bounce back quickly because their mentors are there to remind them of who they are. Not having a mentor in this day and age is a sign that you are not following your bliss. It shows that there is a misalignment in the journey of your growth and, you will probably be out of touch with you are meant to become in life.
Mentees should never forget who helped them reach their success. Reach out and keep in touch. For example, you can maintain your relationship with your mentor by committing to regular meetings as best as you can, you can also ask your mentor what she prefers as the best way to keep in touch. Finally, be cognizant of your mentor’s life events and work schedule. You may find it necessary to adjust the frequency in which you communicate or meet in person.
Most importantly: growth is a continuous process, not the end goal.
Dineo- SAWLA-SC (Wits Convener)
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