Dear Daughter

As we walk in public spaces, I notice that some folks call you ”Mmantenya’ and others call you ‘Mmampitla’. This takes me back to when my aunties and uncles would tease me with all sorts of names because, I was once chubby like you. Although I laugh about it as I reflect now, those names used to offend me. I could not explain to every person I met that this broke my self-confidence. As a result, I withdrew from social activities because I felt humiliated.

Considering the fact that I currently look like a JoJo tank, I decided to pen this down for you. My weight has doubled, and I have stretch marks. I foresee that, you will soon grow older and that you might possibly have to face similar criticism and bodily shame remarks. I hope this letter will reach to you at the right time.

This is what I want you to know upfront:

Psalm 139:14 reads “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works and I know this very well”.

What does it mean to be fearfully and wonderfully made?

This is not just a verse to comfort you! These words are factual, and they will carry you! Allow me to unpack this verse for you.

‘For I am FEARFULLY made’ – This means that that there are certain parts of your body that will make you less confident when you look at yourself in the mirror. However, this was part of the plan when God created human beings. For example, shortly after your birth, I gained more weight. When I looked at my thick thighs and chubby cheeks, I dreaded looking at myself in the mirror. I came across this scripture not so long ago and when I did, I understood the meaning behind the words better. I found peace knowing that there is a purpose behind this new weight. I appreciate that I have “scary” stretch marks because I carried a life. I had to eat Mabele twice a day and, unlimited rooibos tea so I can have enough milk to feed you. In other words, my new weight was aligned with my purpose of motherhood. For this reason, I became comfortable and content with my appearance.

‘For I am WONDERFULLY made’ – This right here, implies that even though there are parts of your body which you may not like OR make you feel unappreciated because of how others see you, you will always be a wonder in God’s eyes. Take note that when you combine those unique features, you become wonderful. No wonder, one day when we entered Home Affairs Department, you kept walking up and down in the foyer. You caught the attention of some old grannies who kept questioning loud that, ‘how come you are so fat yet so flexible’. Their surprise seemed to me like a wonder! Thus, it should not surprise you when your looks make other people wonder.

‘MARVELOUS are your works’- Daughter, this is a powerful truth to remember: you were in the Lord’s mind before you were formed in my womb. This conveys the breath-taking praise of the Lord’s work. How we all look is the result of the Lord’s doing. Your unique features are all a result of the Lord’s doing. In reality, there is no science or technology that can create the human soul. Even with the most expensive medical advances of our modern times, His creation remains a mystery. We can undoubtedly believe that the Lord solely responsible for our entire being since we are created in His own image. As such, your marvelousness and awesomeness stems from God’s creative power (Genesis 1:27). His marvellous works are evidence that He is a Designer, Creator, Manufacturer, Biologist, Artist… because you exist. For this reason, I want you to appreciate yourself. Lastly, if you have a certain body feature that you don’t like, understand that your Maker wanted you to look like that.

‘And I know this very well’- This phrase indicates that you need to be self-confident. You don’t need any media approval to tell you how you look. You do not need any friends or psychologist to confirm and reaffirm you. You should know it deep down, from your soul that you are fearsome, wonderful and marvellous! The danger in not knowing this is that you will end up relying on other people’s opinions, which will not satisfy you. Hence, I urge you to discover yourself and know this very well.

As you mom, I just want to reiterate this before I enclose this letter: Take great care of your health. There is no point of being fearful, wonderful, and marvellous if you are physically, mentally, or emotionally unwell. Healthy body, mind and soul is currency.

With Love

Mother Justice